Guilt – please leave me alone, because I am suffering! Guilt – like shame – are among those feelings that can dominate and take over your life. In some cases guilt and shame are closely connected in which self-blame overwhelms you. In periods of depression it can get worse and even incidents going years back in time can come back and hit you as a fist. You start blaming yourself over and over again and while you thought you were finished with that part of your life, obviously you were not. Many blame themselves excessively and the more depressed you are the worse it becomes. Next comes often a feeling of humiliation which together with the feeling of guilt might blur your vision of how you should handle your situation. You are on the road of one of those famous ‘guilt-trips’.
It makes no sense to unilaterally blame yourself. How would that make you progress? Benefiting whom? No one says that you are to forget mistakes, but learning from them is more useful than drowning yourself in the ocean called guilt. It is not that we haven’t all felt guilty – anything else would be inhuman, but as always, there are two sides to any coin and although you might think you deserve being punished with that feeling of guilt – again – be rational before guilt starts controlling your actions. Do not let the blame-game control you.
‘What doesn’t kill you make you stronger’ or ‘it has to get worse before it can get better’ might not seem helpful words in those moments where the feeling of guilt is about to strangle you. ‘Oh no – I should not have done it. How can I make it up to him/her’ – have we not all had these thoughts one or several times during life? Self-blaming thoughts keep spinning through your head and no matter what you do you can’t get rid of it, but you are wrong. You can and you will! Decide – then do.
If you have not ever felt guilt – then I am sorry, you have not lived. Life can teach you many lessons and sometimes those lessons can be hard. If you have never felt guilt – then that’s when it is time to feel ashamed. That sounds like the opposite of what I just said, but it is not. Guilt will teach you who you are, and depending on how you deal with and act upon it, you will develop as person. Deep inside you will know the truth, you will know why you acted as you did, and therefore what is your goal. Seek to find the very reason for your actions that made you feel guilty and you will know how to address it. Are you feeling guilty? You are alive!