Are there anyone that is totally insensitive to other people’s perception and opinions about them? I don’t think so or at least if there are – there are only a few of them among us. In many cases we let other people’s judgement rule our behaviour and actions. Like we have written about before – norms and informal rules in any society by far determine our behaviour and common actions. However, you may be more or less insensitive to what others mean about you simply because you have decided to live the way you are comfortable with. That is the thing – what you are comfortable with. Where are you in this?
‘I can’t do that – what would people say’ you might think evaluating the effect and consequences of own action against the judgement of others, of the society around you. Now let’s say you are on the edge of your own comfort zone. At the same time, people around you judge and deem your actions inappropriate and immoral. You may belong to those normally awaiting the approval of others around you before you actually make a decision. You trust others more than yourself. Don’t or at least do not always make others determine your actions. It is OK to ask others for their opinion, but do not let their opinions decide what you should do and stand in the way of choices whose impact is important to you and your life. They are not you.
If you wonder what to do, the best advice is to never betray own principles, moral and ethics. That is what is meant when saying, do what you are comfortable doing. Once you have established where your thought or line of action lies in this respect you can make a decision. The thing is that people’s judgement is commonly more a result of stereotypes and informal rules than based on ethics and moral. So if your action challenges those around you, it does not mean your action is wrong doing from a moral and ethical point of view. When those around you say ‘How could you!’ then think again – was my action immoral?
Do not confuse judgement from your surroundings with moral or ethics. Any society and community at a smaller scale are set in their own line of thinking. If other people have a problem with choices you make in life – too bad but not really your problem. Easy to say and not so easy done, but try and see where it takes you. Even if you end up having made the wrong choice you learn from that as well. As I see it, there are really no so-called wrong choices as long as you stand for what you do. There are simply just ‘choices’ which may have a negative or positive impact on your life – choices that you learn from.